A recent article in my hometown newspaper, the Hamilton Spectator, got me thinking.
The article, which was almost laughable in its attempts at logic, was one of these seasonal “All Canadians are bad because we hate Americans” rants. The author, a self-proclaimed “pro-American Canadian,” apparently went to a j-school where they didn’t teach about bias.
According to this writer, America is the best nation in the world because New York is the friendliest city and Florida has a pristine beach somewhere. The author states that these are her best finds, and she has been to five continents, don’t you know.
Beyond the obvious questions of, “yeah, but has she been to beaches on five continents,” and “does she know the meaning of pristine,” lies deeper questions. Let’s put aside the obvious thought that beaches in Hawaii (also part of America) are much more likely to be pristine than Florida, and deal with the big question hidden here, the elephant in the room, so to speak.
Where is the most pristine beach in the world?
Now I’ve only been to four continents (I feel so inferior), but I have been to beaches in all of them. I also live on the edge of one of the best beaches in South Korea. So, I’m a self-declared beachologist! Well, I have an opinion, anyway and nowadays that's all you need to be an "expert".
For my money, the cleanest, prettiest, most unspoiled beaches are in the Pacific.
But pristine is a word with many meanings.
If by pristine, one means “Of, relating to, or typical of the earliest time or condition; primitive or original,” then I would argue strongly for the eastern beach at Stokes Bay, Kangaroo Island, Australia. To get to this hidden beach, you have to walk, almost crawl, through a cave from the western beach. The beach is more lava rock than sand. It truly feels like you’ve fallen off the edge of the world, with cliffs behind you, and empty ocean in front.
If by pristine, one means, “Remaining free from dirt or decay; clean: pristine mountain snow,” then I would point to the windswept beaches of Managaha Island, Saipan. The northwestern and eastern beaches are continually rejuvenated by tide and weather. It keeps the long, pale beaches looking and feeling soft and fresh every morning. By that definition, even the beaches of Cape Cod would be among the most pristine I’ve seen (off-season, so no tourists).
If by pristine, one means, “Remaining in a pure state; uncorrupted by civilization,” then I’d have to point to an unnamed beach on Haslewood Island in the Whitsunday Islands, Australia. How pristine was this beach? Dolphins were swimming in the waist-deep shallows just off shore, and the beach was infested with deadly poisonous snakes. I’d call that “uncorrupted by civilization.”
If by pristine, one means “pretty,” I would allow that Garden Cove Beach on Waiheke Island, New Zealand, also the smallest one on this list, should be number one.
Of the cities I’ve been to, New York would be high on my list of friendliest too, except for the condition of the subway system. That wasn't friendly at all. Sydney would be higher, again with the caveat that their subway system is confusing but at least it was clean (and it didn't smell like urine, New York.). I have a lasting hatred for London, but I’m not an Anglophobe. I really enjoyed my time in Bath. Hong Kong still has me enthralled. Beijing has very friendly people, mostly, and the subway trains in Beijing project TV shows onto the tunnel walls, so you can look out the windows at something. Brugge, Belgium rocked, although that was less the locals than the seasonally-hired help from Paris (ah, Paris, one day I’ll see you. Wait for me. Don’t change.).
My advice to the writer of the article in the Spectator? If you’re trying to convert others to your point of view, work on your presentation skills. If you would really prefer to be a citizen of another country, then move there. You don’t need to justify your feelings to us. Just get on with your life, already, and enjoy it.
